9
9
"All My Happiness Is Gone"
Purple Mountains
"All My Happiness Is Gone"
Purple Mountains
"Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exercitation ullamco laboris nisi ut aliquip ex ea commodo consequat. Duis aute irure dolor in reprehenderit in voluptate velit esse cillum dolore eu fugiat nulla pariatur. Excepteur sint occaecat cupidatat non proident, sunt in culpa qui officia deserunt mollit anim id est laborum."
"Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exercitation ullamco laboris nisi ut aliquip ex ea commodo consequat. Duis aute irure dolor in reprehenderit in voluptate velit esse cillum dolore eu fugiat nulla pariatur. Excepteur sint occaecat cupidatat non proident, sunt in culpa qui officia deserunt mollit anim id est laborum."
4 WORST SONGS OF 2019
2019 was an amazing year for music. Ever genre seemed to have mind-bending albums and songs that pushed the boundaries of what they could be. But not everyone could find the same level of success. Some artists not only missed the mark, they skidded face-first on concrete until there was nothing but bone left. These are 4 songs I listened to just to tell you that you shouldn't.
4
Taylor Swift
"You Need To Calm Down"
Taylor is the only artist with the "honor" of being on my best and worst lists, and this song deserves a spot down here. Such a good beat is wasted on this faux gay pride anthem. Such uplifting sentiments towards the LGBTQ community sound like they were written by a group of 20 writers desperate to make Taylor's street cred go up. Such cringe-inducing lyrics about Patron and the time of the day make this song a travesty, especially when the album it's attached to is a genuinely good pop album.
3
Chance The Rapper
"Hot Shower"
I have to know who approved this. The Big Day was a full-on studio album, so someone had to listen to this and say “Yep, we can put this out”. Trap does not fit chance at all. At. All. Not only does it not fit, the beat sounds like it isn’t even trying. There’s some features from some other artists who I don’t give a shit about, they add nothing to the track. But adding nothing is better than subtracting, because that’s all Chance does.
​
2
Nostalgia Critic
ANYTHING from this disgrace
I spent a lot of time debating between which song from Nostalgia Critic's The Wall to put here, but in the end, each song is so equally fucking terrible that I found it necessary to include every single one. Ever joke is bad, every hook is horrible, and honestly, the Nostalgia Critic seems to have absolutely no respect for music in general or any desire to learn. Please stay as far away from this thing as you can. But every song on NCTW is still better than...
Lil Dicky
"Earth"
If we destroy the world with global warming, endless wars and a disturbing lack of respect for human life like we're currently doing, there won't be any more Lil Dicky songs. Seems like a fair tradeoff to me.